Films That Witness Madness

review

STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER

With the sheer amount of great gialli available, it's hard to imagine why anyone would want to waste their time on a giallo directed by the inept, insufferable Andrea Bianchi. Those familiar with Bianchi's oeuvre will know well enough what they're getting themselves into. While it hits the same giallo notes as virtually every other film in the arena, STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER feels distinctly lackluster and dull. If it weren't for Edwige Fenech and her almost constant nudity, I doubt I would have made it through the film in a single sitting.

In fact, nudity is the only thing STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER seems to have going for it. Every female in the cast is stripped nude whether it's for their killer or not. Rampant nudity has never been something giallo directors have shied away from - and is certainly not something I'm averse to - but Bianchi really goes overboard. Whole dialog scenes are played out with bare breasts dangling on screen. Femi Benussi, a regular of the giallo film, spends close to four minutes fully nude being stalked in her apartment. Tits and untrimmed pubic hair are so prevalent that I almost forgot I was watching a giallo film - something this film has in common with the equally odious SISTER OF URSULA.

Periodically, a motorcycle gear-clad killer pops up to eviscerate somebody and it's here that we get a glimpse at Bianchi's secondary interest in making this film. It's exceptionally violent. While the giallo film is hardly tame in terms of on-screen bloodshed, STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER most certainly contains some of the most gruesome violence ever seen in the genre. One victim is castrated - cue up a nice shock cut to his hastily discarded penis - while another has her ears lopped off. Another woman has a breast severed. None of this actually happens during the murder, mind you - a fact that somewhat lessens the gross-out factor - but is revealed later in the obligatory finding of the bodies. Whether it was Bianchi's intentions to arouse or repulse his audience is unknown to me. He's frankly inept at doing either particularly well. It takes more than a naked woman and a few gallons of fake blood to get me worked up.

Everything is so overblown and exaggerated that I can't quite make up my mind as to whether or not Bianchi was trying to make a serious giallo film. When I say everything is exaggerated, I mean everything. The male lead in the film, a fashion photographer named Carlo, takes the idea of macho Italian men to absurd levels. We first see him trailing Benussi through a hallway, snapping pictures of her bikini-clad ass. In the next scene, he convinces her to come to the sauna with him so he can snap some pictures of her. In no time flat, he's nailing her. A little while later, he strangles Fenech for no reason whatsoever but is just so damned charming that she simply forgets it immediately afterward. This is the most womanizing, misogynistic, abusive, emotionally vacuous hero in the history of the giallo film but Bianchi still has him solve the case and get the girl.

The woman are similarly treated. Every woman in this film is a weak, gullible, vindictive coward. Only Amanda - yes, she only has a first name - in the role of fashion business owner Gisella shows any kind of emotional strength and that is seemingly only because she is an abusive lesbian! This is seriously goofy, borderline offensive stuff - how else you you describe a movie that begins with a botched abortion and ends with an anal sex gag? - and you can tell Bianchi is having a field day.

But where does that leave the viewer? Well, for most of you, this film will be quite the entertaining gem. For the rest of us, however, it's quite a chore to get through. Nothing really happens and so little attention is payed to developing a mystery narrative that STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER begins to feel like a kind of Eurotrash slasher film. This is the kind of film that I would probably enjoy more with a few beers, a plate of hot wings and a group of friends.

Unfortunately for me, I don't have any friends willing to sit through an Andrea Bianchi movie.

They know better.

Not recommended.

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