TRICK OR TREAT
Directed by Charles Martin Smith. United States. 1986.
The movie opens with our protagonist, high school metalhead Eddie ‘Ragman’ Weinbauer, writing a letter to his rock-star hero and local legend, Sammi Curr. Eddie complains for a few paragraphs, whining about how he doesn’t fit in and can’t get chicks because he listens to metal. It’s the kind of letter every rock god wants to read: moping bullshit with a side of ‘your music is cockblocking me, man’. Eddie has a crush on prissy Leslie, but she’s in cahoots with the jocks, the natural enemy of all high school kids who don’t drive sports cars, wear baggy clothes, or have souls.
Eddie’s life takes a nosedive when he finds out Sammi Curr died in a hotel fire. Curr went to Eddie’s high school and was recently banned from playing at this year’s Halloween dance. For Eddie, Curr represented rebellion against the plebs and the sheep. Curr was the closest thing he had to a role model with big hair and tight leather pants. Devastated by the news, Eddie tears down all his band posters. Good. Maybe now he’ll start listening to good music.
Eddie is friends with a radio DJ named Nuke (played by actual rock god Gene Simmons). He gives Eddie the only existing master of Curr’s unreleased album, Songs in the Key of Death, as a gift. ‘He’d want you to have it,’ Nuke tells him, adding that he made a reel-to-reel copy of the album to play on the radio on Halloween night. Eddie takes the album home and listens to it. Because this is a horror movie set in the Satanic panic era, Eddie finds some backmasking on the album. When he plays those bits in reverse, they reveal Curr’s voice… and it’s speaking directly to him! You kids got the spooks yet?
After a prank by the jocks leaves him butt naked in front of the girl’s gym class, Eddie is invited to a pool party by Leslie. He thinks it’s a set-up, but Leslie is actually being sincere. She thinks the jocks are jerks and Eddie is a nice guy who doesn’t deserve having his flat, white ass exposed to classmates. When Eddie shows up at the pool party, the jocks stick weights in his book bag and throw him into the pool. That’s not a prank, guys. That’s attempted murder. Back home, he plays the album backwards again and hears, clear as day, Sammi Curr instructing him on how best to get some sweet revenge.
At first, Sammi’s commands are harmless pranks that bring Eddie a degree of social notoriety and confidence. But soon, the commands turn darker. Once Curr starts targeting Leslie, Eddie revolts by breaking the album. Now the film stops being 976-EVIL and starts being SHOCKER. Curr manifests in reality, revealing that he can become pure electricity and travel through power lines. Curr has returned to life to rock and roll, and kick some ass.
Oh, and ruin the Halloween dance he was barred from. He might be a dead rocker whose body can turn into pure electricity, but he’s still a petty little shit.
On a scale of ROCKTOBER BLOOD to 10, this falls somewhere around a 3 for me. It’s not nearly as awful as Beverly Sebastian’s colostomy bag of cinematic atrocities, but it sure ain’t good either. Like the aforementioned 976-EVIL, this movie gets worse as it goes along, moving from typical but charming high school comedy to lame supernatural horror that should be much more entertaining than it is.
The early stuff is great. There’s a chase scene through the high school loaded with pratfalls and humorous moments, like when a sprinting mob of jocks, mid-chase, slows down to quietly power walk through the school library. A middle-aged woman has a massive, histrionic-laden freakout at the sound of heavy metal music. Ozzy has a wonderful cameo as a moral majority buzzkill talking head on a daytime talk show. Eddie’s newfound confidence is hilarious, too. Now instead of moping around, he wears a bandana, compliments Leslie on her jeans, and says “ciao” before popping on his headphones and strutting down the hallway. It’s great stuff.
But then the fucking horror movie gets in the way.
Sammi Curr is the biggest problem here. He’s a heavy metal maniac who can literally ride the lightning, but his ultimate goal is to crash a high school dance?! Really? And how exactly did this all happen? Was he an occultist? Did he do the whole Charles Lee Ray thing but to a stereo instead of a Good Guy Doll? Did he make a pact with the devil? Was his death a suicide or an accident? At one point, he reaches through the TV and drags a talk show guest through the screen, turning her body into an ashy lump of burnt charcoal. What did it look like to everyone else watching? Did that actually happen? Once Curr materializes at the dance, he kills the lead singer of the hired band, picks up a guitar, and starts playing. Thankfully, all the band members on stage with him somehow know his music, and they start rocking out. Curr begins shooting electricity from his guitar, and everyone runs away. He doesn’t even kill everyone. You sure showed them, Sammi. Hope that was worth burning alive for.
Oh, and Curr trips while attacking Leslie in Eddie’s bathroom. When he falls over, his hand goes into the open toilet, stunlocking him for a good three minutes. It’s a great villain moment, huh? Being momentarily defeated by a shitter.
Was Curr meant to be funny? Then why treat him as a serious threat? Why not be as playful with Curr as you were with the bullies? Why not make the whole movie a horror-comedy? Keep it simple and fun, with great pacing and cute set-pieces? Once TRICK OR TREAT takes a turn down Horror Blvd., the pacing grinds to a halt, and the movie becomes dull and lifeless. Sammi Curr supernaturally molests a chick in a car, then melts her eardrums. That’s about as ‘horror’ as it gets here, folks. We needed more of the early game momentum and sense of humor. The back half offers no thrills, chills, wit, or fun. This little firecracker turned out to be a dud. Major bummer, dude.